My Father's Daughter

My father was an amazing man. He was one of six siblings, all of whom were geniuses. My father’s IQ was over 160. Genius, I believe, is around 135. He played several instruments, including the trombone, the French horn, the English horn and the piano. He won first place in the state competition in Nebraska, for French horn.  

All through my childhood we heard my father playing classical music on the piano and playing the trombone in church. He was a minister, and many people said he was the most knowledgeable preacher they ever heard. As I mentioned in a previous post, he was also a poet, with over two hundred poems. What most people didn’t know about him was that he was a very accomplished composer. He wrote the words and music to around fifty beautiful songs.

In 1999 we lost him to leukemia. He contracted leukemia from getting radiation treatments for prostate cancer. I miss him very much.

As talented as my father was, the one thing he was short on was the courage to publish all the wonderful poetry and music that he created. I believe he was afraid that people wouldn’t appreciate his work and he would feel rejected. So, the safe thing was to just keep it in the family.

When I started writing my book, The Adventures of Little Chrisamee – Creation, I was having great fun writing the story. In the back of my mind was the idea that I would love to get it published. Because of watching my father with his writing and composing, I just sort of had it in my mind that publishing was just a pipe dream. It wasn’t something I would ever be able to do.

As the story progressed and I was getting great feedback from my family and friends I starting thinking more and more about getting it published. Still, there was always this nagging fear that publishing a book was something completely out of my reach. If I tried to get it published and failed, then everyone would see me as a failure. However, if I just shared the story with my family and friends then I would be seen as a successful story writer. After all, if you don’t try then you can’t fail, right? On the other hand, if you don’t try then neither can you succeed.

I decided I had to try. The chain of fear of failure had to be broken.

Another thing that motivated me is the fact that I don’t have any children. I have felt for years that when I leave this earth there would be nothing left behind to show that I was ever here. If I could get my book out there, then there would be proof that I existed. Still it was very scary trying to get this accomplished.

My family and friends were very supportive. When they would ask me how it was coming along, I would start thinking, “I have to do this, I have to do this”.

Then I married my husband Ray, and he was not going to let me give up. I am so grateful to him for that.

I had a lot of challenges along the way, and I was never certain I could get it done. The day my published books arrived was possibly the most exciting day of my life.

My great nieces and great nephew, Amy, Torri, Trent and Jackie, are all little angels in the book. When they got their signed copies, they were thrilled, taking it around showing it to everyone they know and bragging about their stardom. Since then, they have written and illustrated their own books, even using online apps to print them up. I was amazed when I saw them.

If you like to write, but you have the same fears that I have, I encourage you to not let it stop you. The pride of seeing your finished book is more than I can ever explain to you. Also, like with my great nieces and nephew, you never know what else will come as a reward to your efforts.

In short, break the chain of fear, and create a new chain of success. You will never regret it. I wish my father and mother could have seen what I did. I know they both would be very proud.

Your comments are welcome.